You do not need to understand all the theory behind Survival of the Closest before you start.
You need some people, six dates and a willingness to try something together.
The Six is the current experiment: aim for six people, meet for 90 minutes once a week for six weeks, and use the same peer-led protocol each time.
Here is the shortest route from “this sounds interesting” to Meeting 1.
Step 1: Decide whether a Six would actually be useful
Start with something real.
A decision.
A transition.
A conversation.
A problem you’re stuck on.
Something you want to practice.
Something you keep carrying around in your own head.
Then ask:
Would it help to handle this myself, bring in one other person or work with a small group?
If a small group sounds useful, keep going.
You do not need six people with the same problem. The shared purpose is learning how to become useful to one another around real situations.
Step 2: Find your people
Aim for six.
You can begin with people you already know, or with people who are also looking for a Six.
The best early question is not:
“Who are my six closest friends?”
It is:
“Who would be willing to try six structured meetings with me and contribute to other people as well as receive help?”
You are looking for people willing to practice, not merely consume.
Need help finding people?
→ Join us at the next Find Your Six Fireside Chat
Step 3: Make the commitment concrete
Before Meeting 1, agree to the basic container:
Six weekly meetings.
90 minutes each.
Same people as consistently as possible.
In person if practical.
A clear start and end time.
The current experiment is free.
At the end of six weeks, nothing automatically continues. Your Six can continue, change what it does or end. All three are legitimate outcomes.
Step 4: Pick a host
Every Six needs a host, but not a facilitator.
The host handles the practical things: a reminder, setting up the meeting space and printing the cards.
The host does not need to be the group leader, teacher, therapist or person responsible for making everyone have a good experience.
Inside the meeting, responsibilities are distributed through the cards.
Different roles. Equal standing.
Step 5: Book all six meetings
Do this before motivation has time to evaporate.
Open everybody’s calendars and schedule all six meetings.
Choose somewhere comfortable enough to talk without interruption.
Do your best to meet in person.
Put the exact 90-minute start and finish time on the invitation.
Meeting 1 is your activation point.
Until the group actually meets, you have an interesting idea; not yet a Six.
Step 6: Get The Six materials
Before Meeting 1, send me a message and I’ll send the host the kit to get started.
It includes the Six Cards that carry the process so nobody has to memorize how to facilitate a group.
Each meeting follows the same three stages:
1. Open the Container
Arrive, establish the time boundary and create the conditions for working together.
2. Work on Something Real
Put a real problem, decision, conversation or challenge in the middle and use the Six around it.
3. Carry It Out and Close
Choose something small to try in ordinary life and close at the promised time.
Then next week:
Bring back what happened.
Step 7: Show up and learn by doing
You do not need to become an expert first.
That is intentional.
The Six is meant to be learned through repetition.
The structure stays mostly the same.
The real situations change.
And over six weeks we find out whether this group can become a useful social resource for its members.
Stuck before Meeting 1?
Maybe you do not know whom to invite.
Maybe three people said yes and three are avoiding the question.
Maybe scheduling six adults feels harder than the rest of the experiment combined.
Maybe you are interested but you still cannot picture what happens in the room.
Bring that problem to the next:
I’ll help you figure out your next concrete step.
The goal isn’t to understand The Six.
The goal is to get your Six to Meeting 1.
And drop a note if you need any help or have questions:
My goal is to help you get your Six started.
Hi Cliff, thanks for this. I can't attend meeting on Wednesday, will you be recording the meeting and providing a link for those who can't be there?