What is The Six actually like? Come try it.

The Six is a free six-week experiment in learning practical ways to meet ordinary life with other people instead of automatically carrying so much of it alone.

Six people meet once a week for six weeks. They practice things like asking, listening, checking assumptions, bringing other minds into problems and decisions, receiving support, and navigating ordinary friction.

But it’s hard to know whether that sounds useful until you experience it.

So this Saturday, we’re going to do something different.

Rather than just talking about The Six, you’ll get to try a version of the first session yourself in a small group.

If you’ve already formed a Six and your members are ready to commit, come together and this can become your actual first session.

If you’re still curious, undecided or looking for people, you’ll join a temporary group and experience what the process feels like, without committing to six weeks.

Afterward, we’ll talk about what worked, what felt awkward, what questions remain and what might keep you from joining.

Then anyone who wants to move forward will have time to find people, choose a convener and put Meeting 1 on the calendar before leaving.

This is not therapy, forced vulnerability or networking.

Nobody has to disclose anything they don’t want to share, and everyone has permission to pass.

Bring something to sit on and, if you’d like, something simple to eat or share.

Come curious. Leave knowing whether you want to find your Six, and maybe leave with your first meeting already booked.

RSVP on Meetup at this link.

Maybe you’ve found two or three people but still need more.

Maybe six people are interested but nobody can find a time.

Maybe you’re wondering what you’re actually agreeing to.

Or perhaps you’re thinking:

Will this be awkward?
Is this going to turn into group therapy?
What if I don’t like everyone?
What if I miss a week?
What exactly happens during the meetings?

Let’s talk about it.

I’m hosting a casual Find Your Six Fireside Chat this Wednesday for anyone who is considering joining or forming one of the first Sixes.

Wednesday, September 16
[TIME]
Zoom
Free

[RSVP / JOIN LINK]

This isn’t intended to be another webinar where you listen to me talk for an hour.

I’ll briefly explain what we’re testing, what the six-week commitment involves and what you can expect.

Then we’ll use most of the time for questions, conversation and helping people move forward.

If you’re trying to form a Six, bring your scheduling or formation problem.

If you’re missing people, come meet others who may be looking too.

If you’re interested but hesitant, bring the hesitation.

And if you’re simply curious, you’re welcome too.

The Six is a very simple experiment:

six people
six weeks
90 minutes a week
practicing practical ways to meet ordinary life together

You don’t need to promise lifelong friendship.

You don’t need to tell strangers your deepest secrets.

You don’t need to know whether this will work.

We’re doing it to find out.

Before you come

Read:

START HERE: Everything you need to get your Six started this week

[LINK]

Then bring whatever question is keeping you from taking the next step.

If the evening goes well, some people won’t just leave knowing more about The Six.

They’ll leave knowing who they’re meeting with — and when Meeting 1 happens.

You don’t need to find your six closest friends.

And you don’t need to figure out the entire six-week experience before you begin.

You need a few people willing to try the experiment with you — and a date for your first meeting.

Here’s how to get started.

1. Find the people

Aim for six.

For these first experiments, we’re keeping matching simple: location and availability matter more than elaborate compatibility matching.

The Six is not based on the idea that six is a scientifically perfect group size. Six simply gives us a small, memorable container to experiment with.

If you’re currently looking for people, send me a quick note and I’ll send you a link to add your details to a spreadsheet so we can help match you:

Or, you can post in the Find Your Six WhatsApp group with:

1. Where you are

2. When you can meet

3. Whether you can host

4. How many people you already have

Don’t wait for the theoretically perfect group.

2. Make sure everyone understands the commitment

You’re agreeing to:

• Six weeks

• One meeting a week

• 90 minutes per meeting

• A good-faith effort to attend

• Participation inside the meetings

• Small experiments in ordinary life between meetings

• Reciprocal contribution — giving as well as receiving

The experiment is free.

3. Choose a host, if you don’t have one

Every Six needs one person to take responsibility for the container.

The host isn’t the leader, therapist or teacher.

They simply help the group schedule the meetings, begin and end on time, stay with the agreed process, protect everyone’s permission to pass and help make room for everyone to participate.

If your group doesn’t already have a host, volunteer or pick one person.

We’ll learn from the first groups how much work the role actually requires.

4. Put Meeting 1 on the calendar

This is the step that matters most.

A Six isn’t activated because six people said they’re interested.

It starts when you actually meet.

Once enough of you can commit, pick the date, time and place for Meeting 1.

Don’t wait until every future scheduling problem has been solved.

5. Download the Quick Start Guide

I’ve put the essential information from this post into one short guide you can share with everyone in your Six:

The Find Your Six Quick Start Guide

39.5KB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

Keep it handy for your first meeting.

And drop a note if you need any help or have questions:

My goal is to help you get your Six started.

What would happen if six people decided to practice doing less of life alone?

That’s the experiment.

The Six is a free six-week practice group.

You start with six people. You meet once a week for 90 minutes for six weeks. In person is preferred when possible.

During those meetings, you practice a handful of ordinary social capabilities:

• Noticing when you’re assuming you have to handle something yourself

• Checking assumptions instead of treating them as facts

• Asking for what you need in reasonable, everyday ways

• Receiving another person’s help or perspective

• Listening and responding without automatically trying to fix someone

• Bringing other minds into decisions, problems and uncertainty

• Slowing things down when misunderstanding or friction happens

Then you try some of those practices in your actual life between meetings.

This isn’t a class where one expert teaches everyone else.

Each Six is peer-led. One person serves as the host, helping with scheduling and protecting the simple process, but they aren’t the therapist, teacher or authority.

And The Six is deliberately not therapy.

You don’t have to reveal your deepest experiences, explain your childhood or process trauma. Nobody is required to disclose anything. You can always pass.

The work is simpler and more immediate:

What are you carrying right now?
What are you predicting about other people?
What happens if you check?
What happens if you ask?
What happens when you let someone else contribute?

What you’re committing to

For six weeks, you make a good-faith effort to attend one 90-minute meeting each week, participate in the practices, try some of them in ordinary life, respect the group agreements and contribute to other members as well as receive from them.

At the end of six weeks, the experiment is over.

Your group can continue, change form or disperse. There is no requirement to become a permanent group.

Why we’re doing this

We don’t yet know whether The Six works.

That’s the point of the experiment.

We’ve seen strong interest in the idea of not carrying life alone, and people are now beginning to form Sixes. But interest isn’t enough.

The real question is what happens when people actually meet, week after week.

Do they keep showing up?

Do the practices become useful?

Do they use them outside the group?

Does anything in ordinary life become easier?

That is what the first Sixes will help us learn.

Want to try it?

If you’re ready to form a group, go to:

START HERE: Everything you need to get your Six started this week.

If you’re interested but have questions, come to the next Find Your Six Fireside Chat.

You don’t need to have all six people figured out before you begin.

You just need to be willing to join the experiment.